Dave Moody, Victoria

I had noticed with interest the cheeky cover photo; some Monday acolyte baring their bum to the world. There’s exposure and there’s exposure. Not perhaps my choice.
      It made me think of my dilemma, or the dilemma. Should I stay or should I go. For two years I had been a voluntary patient with the “shrink wrap department” aka mental health, and though not legally obligated, I was harassed continuously to drop my drawers every three weeks and take a shot that was guaranteed to insure I wouldn’t shout out rude things at the opera, etc. As a contending junior icon, I was puzzled. Had my credits got me nowhere? Had my knowledge of the Bard betrayed me? The harassment wouldn’t stop and my actions began to resemble those of Ferris Bueller, in my attempts to persuade the powers etc. that I was having open heart surgery that day, or a ‘C’ section or just lunch with my girlfriend.

I had noticed with interest the cheeky cover photo; some Monday acolyte baring their bum to the world. There’s exposure and there’s exposure. Not perhaps my choice.
      It made me think of my dilemma, or the dilemma. Should I stay or should I go. For two years I had been a voluntary patient with the “shrink wrap department” aka mental health, and though not legally obligated, I was harassed continuously to drop my drawers every three weeks and take a shot that was guaranteed to insure I wouldn’t shout out rude things at the opera, etc. As a contending junior icon, I was puzzled. Had my credits got me nowhere? Had my knowledge of the Bard betrayed me? The harassment wouldn’t stop and my actions began to resemble those of Ferris Bueller, in my attempts to persuade the powers etc. that I was having open heart surgery that day, or a ‘C’ section or just lunch with my girlfriend.
      Egg just doesn’t seem to stick to many faces in the land of many ministries but I was determined to triumph, so finally, one welfare day, I packed my camera and briefcase and headed for the “loser cruiser” to Swartz and all excited by the idea of once again seeing professional friends in Stratford, Toronto and Hamilton. So much catching up to do. So much beer. The grass was definitely greener. Having cashed the pittance known as the disability, I wondered about my ability. Was I too old, too fearful, to play again in the big time?
      It was a very grey Wednesday. The streets were replete with scroungers and pot smoke was in the air. How I longed to get away from the Victoria drug scene for a while. The forty disgusting painted orcas were cause enough to gleefully flee – the cloying familiarity of the Trojan streets, where, Achilles like, I waged a war on commodity, year after year, for want of something better to do, anxiously seeking a famous face – every now and then a glimpse of Terry David Mulligan or Hudson Mack or the mysterious Ed Bain.
      Toronto the Bad was starting to seem positively glamourous – an Emerald City beckoning to one more cowardly lion. I hadn’t roared much lately, for after all animals compete and people co-operate. In Toronto there would be no more annoying calls. I could pick up where I left off twenty years ago. Maybe. I stood on Yates Street considering my options. Yates. Stay E. Stay East. Some wiseacre had crawled Go east young man on the wall of the grotty bus station washroom. I didn’t have to kill Claudius, I just had to get on a damn plane. How difficult would it be? My friends said they would take care of everything. But would they? Would the various beds support my bad back like my new Sealy Claustrophobic. Hell, I wasn’t sleeping anyway. I knew Toronto had changed. It wouldn’t be the same at all. But tobacco was cheaper in Ontario.
      I found myself drifting to the Vincent de Paul. Ah, Vinnies, one of our grandest institutions, where, with the right espirit de score you can find something so utterly collectable and useless for next to nothing, and so I did.
      There they sat. The Lennon glasses. Three bucks cheap. I couldn’t believe my good fortune. For an actor, character is all about costume and I knew then that I would stay, for the time being, for the devil I don’t know is planning new acts of terrorism and he doesn’t yet know that I have him totally figured out.
      So I shall reinvent myself as a Victorian, wear the Lennon shades virus night and day, and watch the wheels go round and round. If they send me the plane fare I’ll just say I’m not coming I have better things to do.