Lori Dueck, Victoria

In my opinion I think there is greater odds of winning a lottery than finding a rock with the number 40 written on it. That is how special each of us is to God. Out of all the billions upon billions of rocks on the earth I found one that rare, on Willows beach, just before lent (40 days of lent). It is impossible for man, but possible for my Lord. This is the type of signs and miracles that have been happening to me since returning to Victoria.

I am struggling in so many ways, however God has me where it all began. Like Jonah I was spat back out onto Vancouver Island. I have grown weary of running, as tempted as I am to leave to another place, I stay. I have had amazing healing during the challenging times.

Nature is my love language and God is fluent in all languages, meeting each of us where we are in the ways we understand. Are we listening? My mind is sometimes polluted with confusion, brain fog or a bang on the head. Can I always understand and separate God’s voice or will? When He speaks to me it is in nature, quite often, a 40 rock, animals and plantation. He has been speaking to me in every way possible since my returning to Victoria. It is in the brokenness I see each day in my neighbourhood, living in community and loving friendships that I have been accepted into, and my furry friend, Caleb, and the beauty of our incredible place we call home that I can be thankful to God each and every day despite the groaning pains of our world.

Who am I, that the great, I Am, loves me enough to walk this healing journey with me? It is a great privilege and blessing that I am now realizing to its fullest extent that He speaks to me in nature. In my brokenness, all my life, He has performed miracles, protecting me. I am a miracle to be still alive, saved from many of what could have been fatal accidents. Two at an amusement park, almost hit by a car, too many times to recall. I am the example of eleventh hour living. Allergies and health issues have forced me onto a permanent ascetic lifestyle which is often a struggle.

Throughout my life God rescues me, often at the last second. However these are the moments that strengthen my faith, the experiences that allow me to have empathy for others and grow into who I am called to be. I am grateful I have community, such as, liturgy group, refugee group, ICN and friendships with people who have walked a long journey of faith.

I left my 40 rock on, former editor of ICN, Marnie Butler’s grave in honour of her Jewish roots and friendship. I welcome my daily Richard Rohr meditation as it often speaks about what I think is missing in our modern world of technology and self-absorbed living.

Wednesday, September 17, 2025 is “Seeing Through the Eyes of Love” which is about love and nonviolence. It mentions about loving your enemies which is on one of the subjects of the book review I have written in this issue of Leonard Desroches’ book. (see Lori Dueck’s book review in the Literary/Arts tab)

I recently attended a mass of Christian Burial of Sister of St. Ann, Sarah Marie Comeau. This is the second service that the Sisters of St. Ann have organized that I have attended. Over the years when I attended a funeral service it felt like death in an eerie way for me. However in both of these services it has been a positive, loving, spiritual experience that I feel as though I know the sisters despite never having met them. I see in both life and death how the Sisters of St. Ann live and serve others. I enjoy spending time with each of them. We recently attended another mass service of their 175th anniversary of serving. I am thankful for them.

Community is becoming a great part of my life. It is fulfilling my desire to fellowship with others and my life’s purpose. I look forward to my next chapter of my journey.