Gerald Archibald, Edmonton

For the last few years, I’ve reflected a great deal on the people who influenced my life in an impactful and positive way. In these reflective moods, I have become more and more grateful for these people who had such a positive impact on me.

“Mentorship” can be defined in many different ways. Are they people who we admire? Are they people we view in a corporate way, meaning they have helped us in our positions of work? Are they historical figures? Do they have to be alive? Indeed, mentors can include all the above.

For the purposes of this column, I view mentorship as people who have a meaningful and positive impact on our lives to the extent that this influence changed us and made us better human beings. Notice I use the words “who have…” instead of “who had”. Indeed, people may have had a positive impactful influence on us both in the past and in our present life.

I, like most of you, could likely list dozens and dozens of people who we admire, respect, acknowledge and recognize for their positive influence on us. Personally, I could list my dear wife, parents, brothers, friends, managers, historical figures and so on. But I wish to talk about one individual who I deeply appreciate and think of often… a person who had and continues to have a very positive impact on my life even though he is no longer with us.

He was a mentor in the largest sense of the word. He remains a mentor as his influence on me was and continues to be nothing short of profound. It is with a deep sense of gratitude that I am able to describe in some small way, the positive impact he has had on my life for over 50 years.

Father Bob Cain was a Redemptorist priest who worked humbly in the outlying districts of Williams Lake, B.C. in the 1960s. I was an eager seminarian at the time studying for the Redemptorist priesthood (a Congregation that started in Italy by St. Alphonsus Liguori, to serve the margins of society).

After my second year of studying at the major seminary in Windsor, Ontario I was assigned to assist Father Bob Cain for the summer. He was an Assistant Pastor at William Lake parish in British Columbia but spent much of his time working with remote and isolated communities close to the Fraser River. He was 54 years of age. When I met Father Cain, he struck me as a simple and caring human being above everything else. He said something like “Well Jerry, I am very pleased to meet you. We will be working in some very remote communities this summer. I have been looking forward to this for a long time!”

I was immediately struck by his calm and respectful manner. He was not the boss, and I was really not the seminarian. We were two human beings ready for an adventure. Our task was to travel over dusty trails and unmarked roads to six different remote communities and to prepare the children for first communion. Most of these settlements were not listed on the map.

Soon after I arrived at Williams Lake, we left in a tiny car for the first one of these settlements. My eyes were opened wide…. “How does he know where he is going?” I asked myself! On the way, he explained the broad characteristics of the first community where we were heading to – a settlement comprised of a mixture of indigenous and non-indigenous people. During this initial road trip, I did not hear anything that was the least bit disrespectful of the people we were going to meet.

Keep in mind, this was 1965 when it was common to look down on certain cultures. But not Father Bob Cain. Anyway, when we got to this area around a small pond, way off the beaten path, we began to unpack our belongings, food, and sleeping bags. Included in this assortment was some teaching material – very little as I remember.

Little by little, children started turning up by themselves, or more commonly, with a parent. They were beautiful humble folk. The children were of different ages with some being teenagers. I’ll never forget this girl riding up to where we were setting up shop on a beautiful horse…riding bareback! Then another older boy on his horse, and so on.

Introductions were made, and we explained what we were hoping to do while there. Because of the lack of materials and the wide age range of children, we just went with the flow. At evening time, we took out some food from a cooler and cooked supper. I thought there would be a residence to sleep in, but we both slept under the stars. While lying on the ground in our sleeping bags, Father Cain and I talked into the night. We each talked about our home lives, how and why we joined the Redemptorists, how difficult we both found seminary life.

(I was blown away when this older Redemptorist shared his own struggles he experienced way back when), what we thought of Vatican II (which was just concluded), even sports teams etc. No preaching! just honest open talk between two human beings. Those evenings were wonderful. About Vatican II, Father Cain would simply say in effect – “it’s the work of the Holy Spirit. We must get with the program and educate the people. Good will come of all this!”

We would have Mass outdoors in the morning and start the day again. The older kids said there were trout in the pond, and before I knew it, I was rigging something to fish with…. a string with a borrowed hook, a piece of wood which acted like a bobber, and bait which were worms freshly dug up from the soil. I actually caught some nice trout which served us well at supper. When Sunday arrived, many more of the community joined us and the children made their first communion. We would have a community meal of sorts. Father Bob was so respectful of everyone, and I could tell he genuinely loved these people and they certainly loved him. Here was Servant Leadership in action.

We would pack up again and go to the next community. I remember one time when we were along the way to another settlement, he stopped at a very simple “lodging” and said to me – “stay here for a moment Jerry, I must pay a visit to the woman of the house, and it’s a rather complicated matter. I don’t want to intimidate her by having too many people talking with her.” After some time, he came back to the car, and we started on our way again. I could not resist, so I asked “Father Bob, what was all that about?”

Without giving the woman’s name to me, he said “Well it goes something like this: She was married before but left the marriage because of terrible circumstances. I don’t blame her a bit! Later she moved in with someone else and now has a family. I heard her first husband died…so I told her she could get married again in the Church. Do you know what she told me? She said NO! If I get married again, he could threaten me or beat me like my first husband. This way, if he ever acts bad, I can threaten to leave him. It works every time!”

I asked Father Cain how he felt about her answer: “Well Jerry, who can blame her? I didn’t try to convince her, but I thought she should know about her first husband.” I must tell you, this experience struck me so deeply – even in those years, here was a man who treated everyone with humility and respect instead of preaching the company line!

Later on, that evening, tired and worn out, we stopped at the tiniest little wooden church I had ever seen. We went inside and made our way to the rectory…a small space behind the altar where the priest usually puts on his vestments before Mass. There was a single bed and space for little else.

We brought our sleeping bags inside the rectory, and Father Bob quickly said: “Jerry, I’m afraid that rough road has done a number on my back. It’s just killing me! There is no way I can sleep on a bed. I’ll sleep on the floor!” Did I hear this right? He said he was very tired, and soon he was in his sleeping bag on the floor, and I got the bed! I must tell you this single action marked my consciousness forever.

To this day, some 57 years later, this experience surfaces regularly in my thoughts. I still can’t put into words how this experience and so many similar ones like this have stayed with me over the years.

That summer was one of the most incredible and meaningful times of my life. It gave me a profound insight into how a human being should genuinely care and love each other. This experience instilled deep meaning to the very core of my being …which has lasted until today and will definitely last until I die. He was a mentor that taught me by his actions to try to act humbly and treat everyone you encounter with genuine respect.

I fail often of course but know I can do better. He is my model to a considerable extent. I was so sad when I heard Father Bob Cain died the year after the time I spent with him. “Father Bob Cain – thank you for your example and mentorship. I truly am so grateful to have spent a life changing summer with you. I will always be grateful for how you taught me such positive lessons about love, respect, and genuineness. You were a gift to me, and I am so grateful.”

Being a mentor to someone, or receiving mentorship from someone, are indeed two of the greatest gifts in the world. Anyway, that’s the way I see It.

Let me know what you think (archibaldjerry@gmail.com)!