Main Feature
Some of My Pandemic Musings
Dale Perkins, Nanaimo
Volume 34 Issue 4, 5 & 6 | Posted: July 5, 2020
My ‘WatsAp’ bings! (ringing on my cell phone) … my eldest son Kevin phoning from Ottawa where he and family live and work. He’s just checking in on his ol’ dad to see if I’m still alive and surviving the current protocol demanded by the many authorities inside my orbit.
I very much appreciate his regular check-ins, asking about my health and well-being. These calls have been happening more often these days, and I’m acutely aware of how this pandemic is having some positive effects on my otherwise routine life.
Regular phone calls and internet notes from family and friends are happening regularly now, and while I have ‘hunkered’ down and followed the admonitions and dictums prescribed by politicians and authorities.
My ‘WatsAp’ bings! (ringing on my cell phone) … my eldest son Kevin phoning from Ottawa where he and family live and work. He’s just checking in on his ol’ dad to see if I’m still alive and surviving the current protocol demanded by the many authorities inside my orbit.
I very much appreciate his regular check-ins, asking about my health and well-being. These calls have been happening more often these days, and I’m acutely aware of how this pandemic is having some positive effects on my otherwise routine life.
Regular phone calls and internet notes from family and friends are happening regularly now, and while I have ‘hunkered’ down and followed the admonitions and dictums prescribed by politicians and authorities.
I’m still feeling ill-at-ease by our circumstances. I can and do turn off the radio and its incessant updates and go for long walks outside with my face mask covering my mouth and nose. And I’m washing my hands more often, and wiping the hard surfaces of my place with a bleach and water mix, and, and, and.
I have noticed a kind of emotional rage that convulses my body and mind. And at times I find myself acting very badly and swearing at folks I’d normally smile and greet. And while I'm not afraid of the 1000s of viruses out there and in my body – some of them quite capable of ‘putting me down for the count’ – my emotions and spirit have radically changed. So wondering – why is this happening to me? Am I changing irreversibly right before my eyes?
Is it a fear of dying? The dangers posed by COVID-19 I’ve heard and understood. I will responsibly follow the protocol for my own sake and the sake of my neighbours. And yet is this pandemic turning me into a dangerous operative who cannot be trusted any longer?
Recently I had occasion to pull out an old photo album assembled by my late maternal aunt. She was a librarian and the album is a solid testimonial of her abilities. It contains write-ups and pictures of the maternal branch of my family tree. She has written accounts of the settlement of our ancestors two centuries ago to Canada and the USA.
It was an emotional roller-coaster read – of journeys taken west and east, of droughts and dust bowls and depression and war. It followed my birth-mother’s journeys and of schools attended, her decision to become a teacher (wasn’t as expensive as training to become a nurse) during the Depression, of teaching in rural Saskatchewan communities, having a leg broken when the horse she rode back and forth from a rural school spooked and fell, breaking my mom’s leg, of her marriage to my Dad, of miscarriages and of giving birth to a daughter who became hydrocephalic and died at three months, of her sickness from cancer and death at 54 years of age, and, and, and
I was suddenly struck by a realization that my family and their neighbours experienced hardships and tragedies; many died, and yet life went on. And now here I am complaining about isolating myself and having to wash my hands more often … really Dale, GET A LIFE!
Much of my personal journey has been labouring inside the Church. I’ve learned and preached the Good News of Jesus Christ, and have absorbed the message – “I’ve come that you may have life, and have it abundantly.” And I’ve had almost eight decades of life already – sure, there have been times of sadness and deaths and sorrows along the way. But I’m alive and still able to see the blossoms on the trees along my street, and mountains in the horizon, and friends and family to touch and love.
If I am fearful, surely that might be better applied to fear of suffering and pain. Death is inevitable, and since I have no recollection of what it was like for me before I was born, I should have no concern about what it will be like for me after I’m dead. All is mystery and the Spirit that permeates everything from the beginning of time will surely be present in everything now and forever more.
In summary, these past weeks have been very challenging for me and others throughout the world. And despite reports of other terrible medical tragedies, e.g. the Spanish Flu, plagues and pestilences in-between, Ebola, HIV-AIDS and other Pandemics, (and I’m not discounting or minimizing the present situation we’re living through) I still long for social intimacy and the invitation to be in communion with others – both family, friends and ‘unknowns’. I firmly believe that’s what is offered me and others in the Good News of Jesus of Nazareth (whom we call the Christ). Hallelujah!
Dale Perkins is a retired United Church of Canada Minister and social activist. (See related story "Shamanic Healing Theme of Men's Retreat at Bethlehem Centre" under the 'Other News' tab)
Dale Perkins, Nanaimo